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It's like looking in a mirror |
While the skinny cow is ticking off a questionnaire on my living, eating and exercise habits, she is simultaneously drawing up a contract. To this day I’m still not sure what happened, it could have been the tedious Monday at work, her size eight booty or a rare out of body experience, but I found myself nodding and signing my life away on a 12 month contract. Following that, like many a fledgling gym goer, I strode purposefully to my nearest Adidas shop and proceeded to blow half my rent on new trainers, sports bra and lycra gym kit… which I never wear as I opt for an over sized greying tee shirt. For the next three months I go about 15 times, four of these times I don’t think count as all I did was sit in the sauna, but I went.
When I signed, Anya ticked the new programme option. I paid an additional £15 to be weighed, prodded, measured and then monitored - this was the yellow brick road to skinnysville I was sure of it. After the humiliation of the prodding, poking and weighing, there was no monitoring. When I made an appointment to sort this out Chad/Darren/Anya just wouldn’t turn up. All I wanted was a new programme; one that avoided ten minutes in the testosterone weights pit ‘working my guns’.
One Sunday I turned up and Erin (a new one) didn’t, the receptionist offered me his mobile so I could call him. I was stunned, and politely declined, I do not pay £50 a month to chase their staff! This was ongoing, I’m not going to lie to you, I didn’t feel special. Soon I stopped making appointments, then stopped going all together.
I have since cancelled my direct debit, now the fun has started. I am cancelling due to shoddy service; I cited this in my cancellation letter. They disagreed and have told me I can’t get out of the contract. Oh, they want to play it that way. I request a copy of my contract to go through, and funnily enough, they have yet to send it.
In the mean time, now this could be a vicious rumour you know how these Chinese whispers spiral out of control, but apparently there is a recession which has a direct effect on gym memberships and en masse cancelling. Now I’m trying to convince them that it’s not just because I’m poor that I’m cancelling but because of shoddy service. It’s not fair I started it first, bloody recession, ruins everything.
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