Make plans, fake plans, do you always break plans?
Making fake plans with friends, we’ve all been guilty of it. You both get all excited about the amazing road trip, where you’ll just drive, take in all the sites, bop along to Take That, gossip and catch up, just the two of you. In your head, this sounds like so much fun. But you know, as does she, this will never happen. One or both of you will ‘suddenly remember’ that you are having your Guinea Pig’s ears shampooed that day and you’ll have to reschedule. You swap your sorry’s, air kiss, hug then escape through a flurries of ‘we’ll definitely catch up’.
Now, statistics show that the amount of fake plans made almost double over the festive period. (did you know that 49% of all statistics are made up!). Terms like ‘oh we must meet up for drinks before Christmas’ are banded about will-nilly, followed with replies of ‘oh yes, definitely’.
Why is this? I suddenly have friends I’ve not spoken to in the past 6 months contacting me with great urgency to meet for a few cheeky cocktails… and they all decide to do this in the week before Christmas! If they were my real friends, they’d know that I am so unprepared that the mere sight of tinsel brings me out in hives. (I work better under pressure.)
These people have been my friends for years and have had, at the very least, the last 6 months to meet for drinks. Do they know something I don’t? Are my days on this earth numbered after Christmas? Am I being banished from their social circle from Boxing day onward? Is the apocalypse on the way? What? What is the reason that everyone has to meet up with you before Christmas?
Be Warned! I, Stephanie Lowe, am boycotting pre-Christmas drinks. Surely I’ll need all this drinking enthusiasm in January, when I hit the post Christmas-I’m-too-fat-to-love phase…
So please people, save the invites for, January 12th! At the very least.
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