Fashion Fools

I had to share this Christmas with the step siblings. Anyone out there who has an "extended family" will know what i'm talking about. In my family we're still relatively new at this, my Mum and her new husband, lets call him Bob, have been married for about 5 years. Luckily we're all grown up and live away from home, up until two years ago we would be forced into uncomfortable family situations under the guise of birthdays, anniversary's any celebration going really. Which I hate but now they've moved to the states it's been down graded to Christmas's, and this year its coincided with the step siblings.

Bob I love, he's a lovely funny guy who clearly loves my Mum, so we accept him. It's his pretentious snobby London-is-the-centre-of-the-universe, zero-dieting little duo I can't stand. When my friends ask why I dont like them, I can't put my finger on it. Lets call him Jake and her Matilda. Jake is a wannabe DJ, he's nice enough when you catch him on his own, he can pass the time of day and actually pull of the act that he's listening to you. Matilda on the other hand is a law unto her self. It seems our entire world manages to revolve around her and which ever sickness she happens to be suffering from at the time *cough*drama queen *cough*.

Matilda works in fashion. And she certainly lives up to the sterotype that all fashion girls are fashion bitches. She only drinks water, only eats organic, can spend all (and i mean ALL) day surfing the internet for more fashion, because clicking that little refresh button renders what was on there 30 seconds ago soooo last season!

When she does deign to come out with us, it seeems such a chore and every non-Chloe store we go into is 'Whack'. Starbucks is 'her life' (please see previous drama queen comment) and i don't think i still quite believe when she stopped and asked a starbucks worker for his picture because his name was embroidered on his shirt! When he refused she told him to 'get over it' and flounced off.... leaving me and my brother drawing blood we were biting our lips so hard to keep from laughing. The thing was Fred, had a slightly larger than usual head, so probably thought our divine little matilda was being funny, poor guy. How was he supposed to know he was but an Ikea-esque bauble in the tree of 'her life'.

So fashionista Matilda, manages to make me feel shit about myself most of the time. And just when i think she's being nice and try to return it, i get cut right back down again.
Case in point, it's just after Christmas dinner, i'm still sat there with (no doubt) gravy down my chin, my paper hot pink christmas hat on, and the lovely luminous ring, prize from my cracker. When she descends the stairs in a flurry of cashmere (shes changed for the 3rd time)

ME: i like your tee-shirt...
Ma: Thanks, its from Luella
Me; Ohhh, is that the new collection from Topshop (so fashion-naive)
Ma: (glare) I wouldn't know, i've not been in Topshop for ages.

Cut down in one fell swoop. Of course she's not been in Topshop, since when did the highstreet mecca, that is Topshop start stocking Chloe, Mui Mui, YSL.... Insert other designer name here.

So, i'm sat here at present waiting for our family boxing day out to New York dressed head to toe in Primark. I think the most expensive thing i have on is the leave in conditioner in my hair. I used to think i was OK with fashion, i knew what i liked, what was on trend what not to wear etc. But spending time in Matildas presence showed me that i am a mere high street novice... and you know what. I'm OK with that.